Posts Tagged ‘thoughts’

shadow_woman_blacksm

There have been millions of articles doled out on the mystery of the desires of the fairer sex. There are even books written on how to understand a woman’s thoughts and interpret her actions. But has anyone come any closer to the truth? I don’t think so. And do you want to know why? Well, I am about to reveal the secret today….

Because……..Wait for it……!

Women themselves don’t know what they want. Period.

Someone said that its easy to predict how a mass would react to a certain situation but extremely difficult to predict what a single person would do. (Please do drop a comment if you remember who it was and what were his exact words.) But that seems impossible even in a mass for women. We know that generally men love to talk about women, they love to watch sports, they love to laze around, etc. These are established facts in most men. However, there aren’t any such established patterns for women.

I will now try to put up some general behaviour/thoughts for women. These, however, might not be portrayed outside but yet be their innermost feelings. Oh! you question my authority over the subject? Well, will the qualification of being a woman work ? Okay! So I proceed….

1) Women love to look good and dress good. No! scratch that! They want to be the most beautiful one, who turns heads everywhere and for whom there is no competition. No matter how fat or ugly they are, they still strive hard to look good and desirable.

2) Women want all men to fall in love with them and desire them. Note the word ‘love’, not raw lust and all. Pure devotion. Okay, I concede a bit! Maybe a little passion but nothing crude or rude.

3) Women want their men to express love all the time. Note ‘their men’. They don’t want guys they have already rejected to beg for love again and again. If you are a guy, and you have been rejected, remember, she doesn’t want you to pester her. But, she doesn’t want you to move on too! Selfish creatures, are women! She wants her admirers around. If any woman disagrees to this point, she is just trying to be a saint. I hope I did not stir up a hornet’s nest now!

4) Women want to be showered with gifts. Now before you go and put a greedy tag on women, read on a bit. Of course there are greedy people everywhere. It has got nothing to do with gender. However, when I say gifts, I mean sweet, token gifts, like a rose stalk, or a teddy on a key chain, or a heart-shaped balloon. They don’t cost much and also show affection and care on the guy’s part.

5) PDA is a debatable subject. Some like it, some don’t. But most women would like their men to be protective and grab their hand while crossing a road, or act tough when someone tries to eve-tease them, and things like that. No matter how independent a woman is, she loves to be treated like a princess by her man.

6) Almost everyone knows that women don’t like their men to ogle at other women. But what men didn’t know is women do the same, but for different reasons. They stare at other women mostly with envious eyes or sometimes with appreciative eyes. A women wants to know she is better than whoever her guy is ogling at. What a man needs to do is take his girl into confidence, discuss with her about the visual target’s assets and subtly criticise. That way the man gets to ogle too and not be beaten up about it.

7) Women like to discuss about men too. And mostly they do. But women don’t bond over talking about men like men do over women. A woman has to portray her lady like character first. Women bond over talking about other women, food, movies etc. Only once the bond is forged, and there is no fear of criticism, do women talk freely about all the men in their lives or around.

8) Women want to behave as crass as men. But the centuries of grilling of customs and traditions and how a woman is expected to behave, stops her from behaving the way she wants to.

I could have written more but I am feeling kinda sleepy now. So maybe I will put up some more points later. Let me conclude this post as of now by asking the question. What do women really want? I already answered that before, didn’t I? But if I had to hazard a guess (including my own wish), it would be that women wish to have the most of both the worlds – the freedom and utter recklessness and carelessness of a man and the love and attention recieved by a woman! I know it’s too much to ask, but hey, we didn’t stop guys from wishing to be treated like girls, did we?

View outside my window

View outside my window

I wasn’t getting any sleep yesterday night. It had nothing to do with stress or tension. Just that sometimes your body doesn’t need rest. And why would it? I hardly do anything other than tapping at a keyboard! So, I had to do something.  Write? Read? Watch movies? Paint? Too much hard work. I decided to just think. But then, the thought of thinking about big things put a lot of stress on me. So, finally I nestled into reflecting back on my past. 27 years is too much data to process and so I decided to concentrate only on the highlights from my high school times to now.

The memories are hazy in some parts and crystal clear in others. Some have mixed up so I can’t remember which happened when. So many events, so many people. So many good and bad times. The times I thought were the best in my life, have been superseded by so many more best times, that the word best loses its meaning. The worse times also don’t seem that bad anymore. Slowly, one by one, memories come to me. Little games like ‘truth or dare’; me, always selecting ‘Dare’ over ‘Truth’. Not that I had anything to hide, but the truth questions were stupid and boring. And the gossips and teenage girly bitching sessions. Falling in love, and doing the most crazy, stupid things that only teenage love can make you do. Laughing over spilt tea and the tail of a cow with my best friend. In the summers,  lying down on the back and holding a popsicle over our mouths and waiting for it to melt and drip on our lips. Every little thing would warrant a fit of giggling. Well, it doesn’t make any sense now, but it did then with her. Still gets me giggling.

By now you must be thinking why am I rambling. Well, my thoughts were random and incoherent and hence the content of this post.  And with a request for patience, I will babble a bit more.

I remember the playing of cards in the hostel; only four could play at a time and the seats were coveted. So, all the cell phones would be piled up in the no-network area, so that boyfriends or relatives do not disturb between the important games. The running around the hostel corridors to save oneself from the mock molestation by the others in our gang. Trying to cook noodles with the tiny electric immersion rods, which always turned out half-cooked and watery. The blowing up of the fuse, while experimenting with these cooking stunts and the resultant batch punishments. Playing box cricket in office when guys used to wait for the girls to bowl or bat. The memories come haphazardly. Some here, some there.

Each year has seen a very good friend, a gang of close friends and that one guy who likes me. I’m bragging! The ‘guy who likes me’ didn’t happen each year, maybe just a couple of years in college. There have been so many good times, most of them over tea, bitching about someone or bragging about ourselves. Discussions and gossips about other girls, guys and teachers when in school and college. Complaints and gossips about girls, guys and managers when in office. Arguments ranging from politics, astrology and paranormal stuff to romance, movies and books, the list is endless.

Looks like I spent most of my life gossiping. Well, what can I say, I love to talk. Not for nothing, that I used to get a ‘talkative’ comment each year on my report card in school. I digress…..again! I should conclude my jabbering speech now.

I sat there in the dark at 1 AM in the night, looking out the window and staring at the trees and the tiny river, not actually seeing them. I marveled at the rich content of my life, the journey until now and the scores of people who have made up the bits of my life.  So many people I learnt from. So many people I took advice from and many more I gave advice to.  So many people affected my decisions thereby affecting the course of my life. So many people inspired me and so many repelled me. The places, the towns and the cities don’t matter, they are all the same. Only people matter. They all made me what I am today. But the most surprising revelation was that these people who, at those times, felt like the closest people in the world and couldn’t be done without, are mostly conveniently forgotten now.

Unrealised Ambitions!!

Posted: February 27, 2013 in Short story
Tags: ,

Empty-Bird-Nest

She had been sitting on the reclining chair in the porch for quite some time now. From here, it was a narrow path of about 20 metres to the small iron gate. There were some big birch trees around the house and untamed grass on either side of the path. The garden showed signs of neglect, the flowering plants wilting and dead leaves rustling in the ground. There was an empty bird’s nest on the branch of a tree close to the porch. Though which bird it was, she couldn’t be sure. There were eggshells at the feet of the tree, bearing testimony to the fact that tiny birds had been born here and had flown away in search of their destinies. She thought about her destiny and her dreams and all the passion she had in an earlier life…..

She was an enthusiast, with passion and energy flowing through all her pores. She was a dreamer, but also a go-getter. She had big plans for her life from the time she could spell ‘life’. She pursued her interests with dogged determination, with ambitions of becoming an architect someday and change the way people lived. She wanted to design entire cities and be proud in her achievements. After she completed her studies, she joined a reputed architectural company. This was the first step towards achieving her dreams and she was full of excitement and joy. Her parents were proud of her, and her brother had already taken her autographed crafts to sell them for millions when she would become famous. How naughty he was! And funny too!

Her first week at the office was hectic. Mostly to do with bringing coffee for her boss and attending brain-storming sessions for the clients and taking notes while watching the masters at play. Sometimes it was humiliating the way they treated her, but she didn’t mind. This was just one step towards the journey of fulfilling her ambitions. Time passed and weeks turned into months. Her boss resigned, and a new guy came in his place. Edmund was his name. She was scared that she might be fired and the new guy might get his own team, but thank god she was retained. Edmund was such a smooth talker. He made her feel as if everything in life was easy. He inspired her to share her ideas with him and she felt emboldened when he praised her originality. There was a new project proposal coming up and she enquired Edmund if she could venture her ideas in the brainstorming session with the clients? He looked blue, but he replied in a hearty affirmative. She didn’t understand his look. She liked him. Oh! stow that! She loved him. Did he love her too? Maybe that’s why he looked so blue. Maybe he is thinking she would leave once she succeeds. But she wouldn’t. She would tell him that she loved him. After the BS session.

The session was to start at 11AM on Monday. She woke up early, did her 4 mile run, showered, made breakfast and ate it. Then she stood in front of the mirror rehearsing her speech, her walk around the board room, her gestures and expressions. At 10AM, she left for office. It took her 45 mins to reach at that peak rush hour. Once there, she found her entire team to be missing from their seats. She peeked into Edmund’s cabin. He wasn’t there too. She ran into the board room, thinking they might be doing some preparatory discussions. She opened the door to join in. But wait! What’s going on! Edmund was explaining stuff to the clients with sketches and diagrams. Her sketches and diagrams! He rebuffed her for being late and asked her to get out. Why wasn’t she informed of the change in schedule? Did she miss a text message? No, she didn’t. What’s happening? She waited for 45 more minutes. Finally everyone came out, and from the looks of joy and excitement on everyone’s face, she realised they had won the deal. She decided she is going to ask Edmund why she wasn’t informed of the change in timings. Afterall, he had her to thank as it was her idea and sketches which got them the deal. Edmund gestured her to appear in his cabin. She came and started asking about the timings, when he cut her off saying that she was fired. Fired?? How could she be fired for no fault of her’s? She screamed and cried and told him that this was her only chance when he said that he didn’t want lazy people either in his company or in the industry. He told her he was going to bar her from any architecture company. Her world was crumbling around her. He called security and she was led out of the office.

She didn’t talk to anybody that night. Just cried herself to sleep. Next day she called her brother and told him what had happened. He said he was going to come to her right away. It was a one hour drive. She was waiting to hear the bell ring to open the door to her brother. 2 hours passed away. No ring. Finally she picked up the phone and called her brother’s number. After several rings, a stranger picked up the phone and said that there had been an accident and the guy whose car and mobile phone it was, had died. She let the phone drop on the floor.

It has been four years since the accident. She is back at the house where she grew up. Her mother had passed away a year ago pining her son’s death. Her father disappears for weeks or months. She doesn’t know where to. She just sits in the porch most of the time, looking at the trees and the iron gate and the remaining twigs of a once beautiful nest!